Woden Seniors Inc

50 years of providing Community Service to the over-50s of Canberra

By

Fortnightly News 28/4/2023

Issue 08 of 2023     

28 April 2023

 DATES TO REMEMBER

Tuesday 16 May, 10.00am – first of the next four Mindfulness and Meditation sessions- advertised in the 31st March News

And unless you’ve been invited to the Coronation, nothing else special for the next couple of weeks that I’m aware of.

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2024 BIG Book Fair

Yes, you read it right…..

Donations wanted for the 2024 Book Fair

We are now ready to receive donations of items for next year’s Book Fair.

We like donations of preloved books in good condition, jigsaws, board games, DVDs and CDs.  

We cannot accept magazines, vinyl records, cassette tapes, video tapes or dirty, tatty or incomplete items.

Our book processing teams are gearing up to make next year’s Fair an even bigger success.  We can all help by encouraging friends, neighbours and families to donate their preloved items which can be dropped off at the Club between 10.00am and 4.00pm on weekdays!!

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au

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By

Fortnightly News 14/4/2023

Issue 07 of 2023     

14 April 2023

      

DATES TO REMEMBER

.Tuesday 25 April    ANZAC Day.  Club will be closed.

 

BIG Book Fair

.Wow, wow, wow!!!  The 2023 BIG Book Fair set new records in many areas, not least in the amount of money raised for the Club – $33,000 no less!!

.Book Fair co-ordinator Judy Henderson’s thank you message and wrap up of this year’s fantastic event follows.

 

.“Book Fair

.We held our eighth BIG Book Fair on the weekend of 31 March to 2 April 2023. It was a resounding success which raised $33,000 for the Club. This was our best result so far.

.The success of such an event depends on the support of a large number of members. The whole Club, as a self-funded organisation, benefits from the Book Fair. The proceeds keep the activity fee low and contribute to building maintenance.

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                            Preparation time – fiction section

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Special thanks go to:

 The fantastic members of the teams who spent many hours every week over the last year cleaning, sorting, and packing books and other items. These teams led by Anne Slaney, Judy Henderson and Chris Mackay and including Bill, Barbara, Agatha, Maureen, Diana, Evonne, Annie, Cindy, Janet K, Margaret, Janet R , Faye, and Rosemary operated on Monday afternoon and Wednesday and Friday mornings and were responsible for the high quality of the books offered.
 Richard Game who managed the car park again and his helpers Peter Kahler and Bill Tutty.
 The welcome team led by Jennifer Pratten who collected the entry donations and handed out information.
 Catherine Masters who did the bookkeeping.
 Don Puttick, Jenny Gregory, Viola, Ann Baker, and Julia W and their helpers on the checkouts.
 Chris Mackay who managed Hall 1 and all her helpers.
 Mark Sheen and Agatha who looked after the jigsaws, DVDs, and CDs etc. in the veranda.
 Diana, Bill, and Judy, who managed Hall 2, and all their helpers.
 Sue, Annie, and Saana who managed the children’s area and all their helpers.
 Anne Slaney who managed the President’s Table and Better Books and was responsible for researching and preparing the collectable books for the President’s Table.
 Nerida Foster and Doug Wilkinson who managed the storage container and storeroom so efficiently throughout the year.
 Tony and the team who unpacked and returned the tables and bread trays.
 Don and Ron who installed the roadside signs.
 The Marist students and their teacher Nicholas Weir who helped pack up.
 The Canberra College students who helped with setting up and packing up.
 The Stromlo High students who helped in the Children’s area and with the signs.
 The members and their friends who helped set up, fill tables during the event and pack up.
 Ann Baker and the WOWs (Watercolours on Wednesdays group) for the beautiful cards, bookmarks, and display of paintings.
 The catering team who donated the food for the volunteers.
 Polly for all her incredible assistance. No task was ever too much trouble.
 Ron Stewart who managed the building and surrounds throughout the Book Fair.
 Sandra Gray for the publicity.
 Judy Henderson for the overall organisation and co-ordination.
 Activity groups for putting up with the disruption before and after the event.
 Justine Burke of Luton Weston Creek and Molonglo Valley for printing the posters.
 The Weston Creek Uniting Church for the loan of tables.
 James Gourley of NewBeach Co for the poster design.
 The generous community that donated books, and
 Last but not least all who came and bought the books, jigsaws, games, CDs, DVDs, and paintings.

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                                     Opening day queue

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During the last year we have made a number of community contacts that have resulted in many benefits for those concerned. We donate surplus books to the Braidwood Book Fair; we assist the Toora women’s refuges with donations of activity books for children; we donated many boxes of left over children’s books to the schools in Lismore affected by flooding. This year left over children’s books will be donated to the Forbes Primary School, which was devasted by flooding earlier this year, and to the Samoan appeal. In addition, the assistance and co-operation of the Murrumbidgee/Canberra Rotary Club has been invaluable. They organised the transport of the books to Lismore at no cost to us, they operated a sausage sizzle and organised a coffee van at this year’s Book Fair and will organise transport of the children’s books to Forbes.

The Book Fair Committee will be having a review meeting in the coming weeks so think about how you would like to be more involved or anything that would help to make the 2024 Book Fair even better and let us know.”

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Thanks for that Judy, I heartily endorse all your comments and on behalf of all the Club members thank you for leading the team in delivering our most successful Book Fair yet.

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BBQ and coffee                                                                                            Children’s section – ready to go!

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THE FLOOR REPAIRS

.A bit of further good news… the repairs to the floor in Hall 1 will be completed by the end of today,  Friday 14th.  It was a great relief that we were able to be assured that there appears to be no further underlying issue and that the problem had been caused by humid air (thanks to all that rain) which caused some swelling of some of the individual wooden parquetry strips.

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Thanks Margaret Wright for this gem from the Forbes Advocate

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

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Thanks Peter Golack for this reprise….  Feel free to sing along!

Gilbert & Sullivan Revisited

           I am the very model of a Russian Major General

My standing in the battlefield is growing quite untenable

My forces, though equipped and given orders unequivocal

Did not expect the fight to be remotely this reciprocal

I used to have a tank brigade but now I have lost several

My fresh assaults are faltering with battleplans extemporal

I can’t recover vehicles but farmers in a tractor can

It’s all becoming rather reminiscent of Afghanistan

My ordnance is the best but only half my missiles make it there

I would have thought by now that we would be controllers of the air

But at the rate the snipers work my time here is ephemeral

I am the very model of a Russian Major General

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By

Fortnightly News 31/3/2023

Issue 06 of 2023     

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31 March 2023

      

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DATES TO REMEMBER

                           

 **31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR**   

………IT’S HERE – AND NOW!!

              

Sunday 2nd April – end of Daylight Saving – yippeeeeee!!

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BIG Book Fair

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A busy afternoon at the Club on Thursday as our building was transformed from it’s usual familiar format into the venue for the Big Book Fair.  This past week has been a flurry of unloading tables and crates, moving chairs and other bits and pieces (like the piano), and trolleying hundreds of boxes of books from the storage container.  Then on to setting up the areas for childrens’, fiction and non-fiction books as well as CDs, DVDs and games in Halls 1 and 2 and the verandahs, and for better books and art works in the sitting room.    Thanks to the many volunteers who have given so much time already – only three more days!! And to everyone whose usual weekly activities have been suspended in favour of the Book Fair.

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And to everyone else – come along between 10am and 4pm this Friday, Saturday or Sunday and buy yourself some happiness in the form of a book, some music or a painting.

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SOME REPAIRS

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More thanks to everyone who has been dancing, exercising and playing around King Richard III’s throne in Hall 1. We are hoping that the needed repair to the floor under the throne will be able to be done during the forthcoming school holidays.

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Also during the school holidays our plumbing contractor will be cutting a hole in the concrete apron just a little way outside the front door.  This is to allow installation of an inspection pit which we are hoping will help to solve an ongoing drainage problem under our building.  Walk in and ramp access to the front entrance will continue to be possible while this work is being done.  

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OUR CHOIR NEEDS YOU

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Are you a pianist or guitarist?  Have you some time to spare on some Monday mornings and/or Thursday afternoons?  Our choir are looking for an additional accompanist to share the joy of rehearsals on Monday mornings at the Club and/or performances at local nursing homes on Thursday afternoons.  Choir leader Gail Guiliano would love to hear from you – or let Polly know if you are interested.

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MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION SESSIONS

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Cathy Mauk, who has led mindfulness and guided meditation group mornings for us last year and earlier this year, is available to lead another four classes in May/June.  The proposed dates are Tuesday 16 May, Tuesday 30 May, Tuesday 6 June and Tuesday 13 June, each starting at 10.00am.  The first session on 16 May will include an introduction to the practice of mindfulness and meditation for any new participants, and the four mornings will cover the four Brahma viharas: loving kindness, compassion, empathetic joy and equanimity.  Please leave your name and email or phone contact details with Polly if you are interested in taking part.

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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New Heavy Element

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A major research institution has recently announced the

discovery of the heaviest element yet known to

science. This new element has been tentatively named

“Administratium.”

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Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant

neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111 assistant

deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

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These 312 particles are held together by a force called

morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of

Lemming-like particles called peons.

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Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction

with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of

Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days

to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

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Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years. It

does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization,

in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and

deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons

exchange places. In fact, Administratium’s mass will

actually increase over time, since each reorganization

causes some morons to become neutrons forming isodopes.

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This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some

scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed

whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

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This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass.”

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You will know it when you see it.

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By

Fortnightly News 17/3/2023

Issue 05 of 2023     

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17 March 2023

      

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DATES TO REMEMBER

                           

 **31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR**   

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BIG Book Fair – 31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023

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Thank you to all those who have already signed up to help at the Book Fair.  Polly has the final roster and will be able to help you if you need to check your times.

We still need helpers for setting up on Thursday 30 March from 12 noon and for packing up on Sunday afternoon from 4 pm to 6 pm. Please think about this and add your name to the list at the office.

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Getting the information about the Book Fair out and about to the public is important and is something we can all help with.  Please do your bit and hand out some flyers or bookmarks (Polly will be glad to give you some) and share the information with friends on Facebook or Instagram.

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Book Fair donations

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 Our storage facilities are chock-a-block and we can’t accept any further donations for the upcoming Book Fair.
 Donations for the 2024 Book Fair will be accepted from 1 May 2023.
 Please pass this message on to your friends and acquaintances.  

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And of course – don’t forget to come along during the Fair to stock up on some reading matter for yourself – or a friend – or your grandchildren!!

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Cynthia Watsford paintings

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The Club has been very fortunate to receive a donation of ten watercolour paintings from the estate of the late Cynthia Watsford OAM. Cynthia was a well-known member of the Canberra art community. She was for many years patron of the Canberra Art Workshop. These beautiful paintings will be on sale at the Book Fair along with a wonderful selection from the Club’s own Watercolour Group.

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ANYONE FOR SCRABBLE?  OR CARPET BOWLS?

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Did you spot the mis-match between the heading and the body of this message in our last newsletter?  All my fault,  and the message below is the correct description of the proposal!!

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Some Club members are proposing to start a group to play Carpet Bowls and/or Scrabble (or maybe even cards)

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Proposed Time: Monday 12 to 2pm

Location: Hall 2

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A start date will be announced as soon as a few people express an interest in participating.

If you might be interested in either or both activities, please leave your details with Polly.

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THE LIBRARY CAFÉ temporary closure

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Loka would like to let our members know that Café Ink, the Library Café, will be closed for at least the next three weeks while he is visiting family overseas. 

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

COMMUNITY INFORMATION

Good afternoon,  

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My name is Jordana Schmidt, and I am the Assistant Director of Learning and Visitor Experience at the National Archives of Australia. I am writing to invite you and your club community of friends, peers and colleagues to an upcoming event we are hosting in collaboration with ABC Radio National.

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On Tuesday 21 March National Archives of Australia will bring together a remarkable panel of speakers to discuss the impact of national apologies on Australian society. The event will be held in Canberra and will be moderated by Paul Barclay from ABC Radio National and the ABC Big Ideas podcast.

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Further information about the event and bookings can be found here: Saying sorry: Do national apologies change the world? | naa.gov.au.

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If you have any questions or would like further information, please feel to contact me. Kind regards,

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Jordana Schmidt (she/her)

Assistant Director Learning and Visitor Experience

Public Programs

Jordana.Schmidt@naa.gov.au

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And….

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With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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By

Fortnightly News 3/3/2023

Issue 04 of 2023     

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3rd March 2023

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DATES TO REMEMBER

                           

 **31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR 

ADVANCE CARE PLANNING

Unfortunately I have to report that the Advance Care Planning talk advertised in the last newsletter has been postponed – to a date to be advertised.  The ACT Health Team who provide the service are having staffing problems and have suggested that we contact them in a month or two to set another date.  Polly has been making an effort to notify everyone who had signed up to attend the 9th March session.

BIG Book Fair

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With only four weeks to go we are very busy with preparations.

Please do your bit and hand out some flyers or bookmarks and share the information with friends on Facebook or Instagram.

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Friday 17 March will be the last day when donations can be accepted so please hurry up if you have items to donate!!. Otherwise we will be very happy to receive them in late April.

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Volunteers will be needed especially for setting up on Thursday 30 March from 12 noon and packing up on Sunday 2 April from 4 pm to 6 pm. Sign up sheets will be available at the office next week.  Any assistance you can give will be most appreciated and will contribute to the success of what is our major fundraising effort for the year.

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ANYONE FOR SCRABBLE?  OR TABLE TENNIS?

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Some Club members are proposing to start a group to play Carpet Bowls and/or Scrabble (or Cards even).

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Proposed Time: Monday 12 to 2pm

Location: Hall 2

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A start date will be announced as soon as a few people express an interest in participating.

If you might be interested in either or both activities, please leave your details with Polly.

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THANKS TO OUR MAINTENANCE SUB-COMMITTEE

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…. for some quick work to track down and quell two recent infestations of European Wasps.  For a brief time it seemed as though Hall 2 was the centre for the E Wasp population in Canberra – happily all despatched now.

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FROM THE ARCHIVES

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Thanks to Elizabeth Halfnights for digging this out of her box of treasures.

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

And some last words –

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By

Fortnightly News 17/2/2023

Issue 03 of 2023     

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17th February 2023

      

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DATES TO REMEMBER

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**Thursday 9 March – Advance Care Planning

                           

 **31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR 

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ADVANCE CARE PLANNING

The Advance Care Planning Program, Canberra Health Services, is offering an information session on Advance Care Planning at Woden Seniors Club on

     Thursday 9th March 11.00am-12.30pm

Advance Care Planning (ACP) gives you the opportunity to think about, discuss, record and share your preferences for health care in advance if you ever become unable to express them for yourself.

This will help doctors and family members to be aware of your preferences in order to make treatment decisions.

ACP also involves legally nominating who would make decisions about your medical treatment on your behalf if you ever lose capacity to make decisions for your yourself. (Enduring Power of Attorney)

The session will provide information, question and answer session as well as assistance to complete documents. 

To ensure everyone has a chance to ask questions and understand what Advance Care Planning means for you, the session needs to be limited to about 30 participants.  Please contact Polly at the Club, tel. 6282 2573 or email to admin@wodenseniors.org.au to book a place.

If there are more people interested than can be accommodated on Thursday 9th March, the Program Team are willing to schedule further sessions for us, and on other than Thursdays if that is preferred. 

BIG Book Fair

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With six weeks to go before our next BIG Book Fair it is time to start talking about it to all and sundry! Next week there will be plenty of posters and bookmarks for you to hand out. So, take some and do your bit! Many local businesses are happy to put a poster in their window and local organisations are happy to have one on their noticeboard.  The bookmarks are great to hand out to fellow participants in groups that you attend and, along with the small posters,  are easy to put in letterboxes in your neighbourhood.

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The hard-working sorting groups have been very busy in the last few weeks. If you are planning to donate books, please do so soon as we cannot manage donations at the Book Fair or on the days immediately prior.

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Our Book Fair is a BIG event that requires lots of helpers, especially for setting up the day before and packing up at the end of the last day. We will be collecting the names of prospective volunteers soon. So please think about it.

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FROM EARLIER TIMES –

A concert by members for members – 2018.

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Jenny Gregory
President                                        
   

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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And if you haven’t totally lost interest by now………….

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“A golfer was 30 over par by the seventh hole, had lost 3 golf balls in the water hazard and hit the bunker on every single hole, when his caddy coughed during a 30cm putt.

The golfer erupted.  “You must be the worst caddy in the world!” he screamed.

“I doubt it,” replied the caddy.  “That would be too much of a coincidence.”

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The police have reported the theft of a shipment of filing cabinets, document folders and labelling machines.  It is believed to have been the work of organized crime.

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A panel of doctors was asked for their opinions concerning a proposal to add a new wing to their hospital:

The allergists voted to scratch it

The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve

The podiatrists thought it was a step forward

The ophthalmologists considered the idea to be short sighted

The plastic surgeons felt it would give the building the facelift it so desperately needed

The morticians yelled “Over my dead body”

The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing

The cardiologists did not have the heart to say no.

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By

Fortnightly News 3/2/2023

Issue 02 of 2023     

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3rd February 2023

      

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DATES TO REMEMBER

                           

 31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR          

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NAME BADGES

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Have you picked up your name badge yet?  There are still a couple from the initial order waiting in Polly’s office for their owners to collect them.

Have you ordered your name badge yet? 

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See Polly to order yours – they are $10.50 with a magnetic back, or $9.50 if you prefer a pin fastening.     

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A POP BACK IN TIME !!

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In earlier years, a major Club fundraiser was the annual fete…. a huge undertaking, needing an enormous effort from members and comparatively, not a huge financial windfall.  Photos below are from the 2011 fete.

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How excellent now that our annual BIG BOOK FAIR is so well known in Canberra and beyond. Thanks to a well-oiled organization and work program we are able to raise a really significant sum to support the Club. 

There are many roles for willing helpers on the weekend of 31 March and 1-2 May.  We’d love to hear from you if you can give an hour or two or a day or two – a job to suit every volunteer.

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CONTRIBUTIONS WELCOME

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Firstly, thanks to the members who have sent me the odd joke for the Fortnightly News – I really appreciate your interest!  Looking back over years of the News and the Meridian publication, members’ contributions of photographs and personal stories, news or information from activity groups were a regular feature.  Do you have something interesting to show or tell?

                        

Are you there Joyce?

If you are Joyce who used to attend line dancing, Cathy would like to contact you to return the projector you loaned her.

Please leave a message with Polly – 6282 2573.

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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Guided Meditation Class for Relaxation, Destress, Health, Learning & More.

This is a call for “Expressions of Interest” to assess if there is sufficient interest to establish a regular group session led by a doctor of psychology.

PROPOSED:

Venue:  Isaacs

Frequency:  Weekly

Duration: 60 minutes

Day:  TBD ( to be determined )

Time: TBD

Cost: $15

Group Size:  Capped to 8 participants.  First booked – first in.

Proposed Start Date: early February. Subject to interest and numbers.

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Expressions of Interest To:  Dr M. MetaMgt@hotmail.com            0414 752 808

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And so to today’s postscript…

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Adult – a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Beauty Parlour – a place where women curl up and dye.

Cannibal – someone who is fed up with people.

Committee – a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Dust – mud with the juice squeezed out.

Egotist – someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Gossip – a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

Handkerchief – cold storage.

Mosquito – a insect that makes you like flies better.

Raisin – grape with a sunburn.

Secret – something you tell to one person at a time.

Toothache – the pain that drives you to distraction.

Yawn – an honest opinion openly expressed.

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By

Fortnightly News 20/1/2023

Issue 01 of 2023     

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20th January 2023

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DATES TO REMEMBER

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31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

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Can you believe it?  2023!!  I hope it proves to be a good year for you and your family.  And here’s hoping you didn’t have this chap at your NYE party –

Why was the bee left alone at the New Years Eve party?

When he got buzzed, he tended to drone on and on about himself.  He was definitely not a humble bee.”

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The Club has now re-opened for the year and unless your group leader has advised otherwise, all our normal activities will now resume.

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THE CLUB CHRISTMAS PARTY

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The last edition of the Fortnightly News went to press just before the VERY successful 2022 Club Christmas party.  The food was ample and delicious, the company was delightful, and the room had a happy buzz – a lovely way to finish the year.  If you missed it – never fear, we’ll do it all again in 2023.  A few photos below.

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As well as the whole of Club party, most of our activity groups had their own celebrations so we definitely generated much more Christmas spirit than was possible at the end of 2021.

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NEW CARPET

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When you come into the Club next, be sure to look down – at the new carpet! – replacing the old, wrinkled and generally tired and grubby floorcovering in the foyer, the Anne Murray room, in Polly’s office and the verandah area around Hall 1.  Luckily it’s almost time for the next Big Book Fair as we’ve nearly spent all the money raised at the last one. 

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And speaking of the Book Fair……

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THE 2023 BIG BOOK FAIR

31 March to 2 April

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The Book Fair is fast approaching. The volunteer sorting groups are working very hard to process the donations. As well as books,  CDs and DVDs, there is a big demand for jigsaws and board games. We would really like to increase our stock of jigsaws and board games this year, so if you have unwanted ones please do bring them to the Club.

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During the three days of the Book Fair our volunteers are very busy and cannot deal with new donations of books etc. at that time,  so please try to get any donations to the Club well before the end of March.

 

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                      A picture containing text, outdoor object Description automatically generated  Promise – no more Christmas references until next December!!

                            

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Jenny Gregory
President                                        
   

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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Today’s postscript.

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By

Fortnightly News 16/12/2022

Issue 25 of 2022

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16th December 2022

   Santa Claus making snow angel   

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DATES TO REMEMBER

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 23 December – Club closed for Christmas break

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16 January 2023 – Club re-opens for 2023

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31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR

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MERRY CHRISTMAS

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In this final newsletter for the year, it just remains for me to wish all our members and your families a peaceful and happy Christmas and good health and prosperity in 2023. 

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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And the last word….

Don’t let the economists anywhere near Christmas!!

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CHRISTMAS POLICY            

 Effective immediately, the following economy measures are being implemented in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary.

 1.  The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecast, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing a considerable saving in maintenance.

 2.  Two turtle doves represent a replication that is simply not cost effective.  In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned.  The positions are, therefore, eliminated.

 3.  The three French hens will remain intact as current Government initiatives include total appeasement of the French authorities.

 4.  The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option.  An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

 5.  The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors.  Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors.  Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of cryptocurrency and high technology stocks appears to be in order.

 6.  The six geese a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded.  It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity.  Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by Personnel will assure Management that from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one.

 7.  The seven swans a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times.  The function is primarily decorative.  Mechanical swans are on order.  The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their value for outplacement.

 8.  As you know, the eight maids a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEO Committee.  A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought.  The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility.  Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

 9.  Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number.  This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

 10.  Ten Lords a-leaping is overkill.  The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out of work politicians.  While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed politicians in the coming year. 

11.  Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big.  A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line.

Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses.  Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient.  If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

 Regarding the lawsuit filed by the Attorneys’ Association seeking expansion of the organisation to include the legal profession (thirteen lawyers a-suing), a decision is pending.

 Deeper cuts may be necessary in future to remain competitive.  Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number. 

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By

Fortnightly News 2/12/2022

Issue 24 of 2022     

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2nd December 2022

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DATES TO REMEMBER

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16 December – Club Christmas Lunch

 23 December – Club closed for Christmas break

16 January 2023 – Club re-opens for 2023

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31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR

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CHRISTMAS LUNCH

FRIDAY 16 DECEMBER

12.00 – 2.00 PM

As advised in the last newsletter, the cost will be $6 per member, pay with a Club voucher, eftpos or cash.

Booking is ESSENTIAL – we need to limit numbers, so please call or see Polly and put your name down to be sure of a place!

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AND ANOTHER REMINDER…….

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Club name badges are now available to order

Polly has a form to complete if you would like to order – you can choose to have your full name – e.g. Joe Blow or just your given name e.g. Joe if you prefer.

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Jenny Gregory
President

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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The December 2022 issue

of the ACT Government’s Office of Seniors and Veterans Newsletter is now available to read or download at

www.communityservices.act.gov.au

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The newsletter contains a great deal of information on a range of topics of interest for seniors and advice on where to find assistance with such matters as retirement living, aged care advocacy, Red Cross services such as Meals on Wheels, the Home Library Service, the current COVID advice and general interest matters.

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And the last word….

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