Fortnightly News 16/12/2022

Issue 25 of 2022

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16th December 2022

      

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DATES TO REMEMBER

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 23 December – Club closed for Christmas break

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16 January 2023 – Club re-opens for 2023

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31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR

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MERRY CHRISTMAS

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In this final newsletter for the year, it just remains for me to wish all our members and your families a peaceful and happy Christmas and good health and prosperity in 2023. 

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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And the last word….

Don’t let the economists anywhere near Christmas!!

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CHRISTMAS POLICY            

 Effective immediately, the following economy measures are being implemented in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary.

 1.  The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree, which never produced the cash crop forecast, will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing a considerable saving in maintenance.

 2.  Two turtle doves represent a replication that is simply not cost effective.  In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned.  The positions are, therefore, eliminated.

 3.  The three French hens will remain intact as current Government initiatives include total appeasement of the French authorities.

 4.  The four calling birds will be replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option.  An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

 5.  The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors.  Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors.  Diversification into other precious metals, as well as a mix of cryptocurrency and high technology stocks appears to be in order.

 6.  The six geese a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded.  It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day was an example of the general decline in productivity.  Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by Personnel will assure Management that from now on, every goose it gets will be a good one.

 7.  The seven swans a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times.  The function is primarily decorative.  Mechanical swans are on order.  The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes, thereby enhancing their value for outplacement.

 8.  As you know, the eight maids a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEO Committee.  A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought.  The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility.  Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

 9.  Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number.  This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

 10.  Ten Lords a-leaping is overkill.  The high cost of Lords, plus the expense of international air travel, prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out of work politicians.  While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant as we expect an oversupply of unemployed politicians in the coming year. 

11.  Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big.  A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right to the bottom line.

Overall we can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and related expenses.  Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient.  If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

 Regarding the lawsuit filed by the Attorneys’ Association seeking expansion of the organisation to include the legal profession (thirteen lawyers a-suing), a decision is pending.

 Deeper cuts may be necessary in future to remain competitive.  Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number. 

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Fortnightly News 2/12/2022

Issue 24 of 2022     

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2^nd December 2022

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DATES TO REMEMBER

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16 December – Club Christmas Lunch

 23 December – Club closed for Christmas break

16 January 2023 – Club re-opens for 2023

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31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023 – our BIG BOOK FAIR

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CHRISTMAS LUNCH

FRIDAY 16 DECEMBER

12.00 – 2.00 PM

As advised in the last newsletter, the cost will be $6 per member, pay with a Club voucher, eftpos or cash.

Booking is ESSENTIAL – we need to limit numbers, so please call or see Polly and put your name down to be sure of a place!

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AND ANOTHER REMINDER…….

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Club name badges are now available to order. 

Polly has a form to complete if you would like to order – you can choose to have your full name – e.g. Joe Blow or just your given name e.g. Joe if you prefer.

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Jenny Gregory
President

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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The December 2022 issue

of the ACT Government’s Office of Seniors and Veterans Newsletter is now available to read or download at

www.communityservices.act.gov.au

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The newsletter contains a great deal of information on a range of topics of interest for seniors and advice on where to find assistance with such matters as retirement living, aged care advocacy, Red Cross services such as Meals on Wheels, the Home Library Service, the current COVID advice and general interest matters.

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And the last word….

Fortnightly News 18/11/2022

Issue 23 of 2022     

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18th^th November 2022

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SAVE THE DATE

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For the first time in a while…. (fingers crossed!!) we are planning to have

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  CHRISTMAS LUNCH             

FRIDAY 16 DECEMBER

     12.00 – 2.00 PM

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The cost will be $6 per member – and yes you can pay with a Club Voucher if you wish.  The Club will subsidise the cost of the meal.

Booking is ESSENTIAL – we need to limit numbers, so please see Polly to put your name down to be sure of a place!

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DON’T FORGET…

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The Club will close for the Christmas break from Friday 23 December and re-open on Monday 16 January.

During this period we will be spending some of the very welcome 2022 Book Fair income on replacing the faded, aging, and wrinkled carpet in the Club foyer, in the Anne Murray Room, in Polly’s office and in the Hall 1 verandah area.  You will be glad to know we don’t plan to replace any faded, aging, and wrinkled Club members!

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Book Fair 31 March, 1 and 2 April 2023

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The 2023 Book Fair is fast approaching. Once the summer holiday season is over it will be upon us before we realise.

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Each of the three processing groups is working away each week busily preparing the donated books and other items and the storage areas are filling up.  However there is still plenty of space for more donations.

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If you are doing some spring cleaning and would like to donate some excess items, we would love to receive clean, re-saleable books, comics, CDs, DVDs, audio books, puzzles, and games. 

Unfortunately, we cannot accept encyclopedias, Readers Digest condensed books, magazines, First Aid manuals, cassette tapes, video tapes, vinyl records, computer software and computer games and dirty, tatty, incomplete books.

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Our Book Fair group are always on the lookout for people with specific skills relating to social media, rare books, and business or event management, to name a few. Please let Polly know if you think you can assist.

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‘Save the date’ bookmarks can be handed out from now on. There is a supply on the table in the foyer. Please take some and start giving them out.

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CLUB NAME BADGES

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Club name badges are now available to order.  They will look like the picture above, and the cost is $10.50 for a badge with a magnetic back, or $9.50 for one with a pin fastening.

Polly has a form to complete if you would like to order – you can choose to have your full name – e.g. Joe Blow or just your given name e.g. Joe if you prefer. 

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We will place an order every time we have twenty names – they cost more if we order fewer than 20.

It really helps everyone if we can help our remaining brain cells as they struggle to remember names!!  I’d love to see an outbreak of name badges around the Club.

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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PROBUS CLUB

Weston Creek Ladies Probus Club: The club meets on the second Tuesday of each month at the Canberra Southern Cross Club, Woden. The meeting starts at 10.00 am and finishes at midday.   There is a general meeting followed by a club speaker and a guest speaker.   Members meet for lunch afterwards in the club restaurant.

The ladies in our club are friendly and welcome new members.  They enjoy regular lunches, day trips away, a Christmas in July at the Royal Canberra Golf Club and a Christmas party at the Southern Cross Club.   Longer trips away are planned in conjunction with other Probus clubs. The more active members of the club do a regular Wednesday morning walk in Weston Park and have coffee afterwards.

If you are interested in coming along as a visitor, please contact Robyn on 62880449.

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Electronic Direct mail information for community organisations

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Digital Health Record, or DHR, is now live across the ACT.

DHR is the ACT’s new digital health system. It will be used to keep all health records on a person who uses any of our ACT public health services. This will include:

This means your public health records will be stored safely in one system – instead of multiple IT systems and paper records.

This will help our health professionals find your information faster, so they can spend their time focusing on what’s most important – you. 

Most of the health information that will be stored in the Digital Health Record is already being collected, either on paper or in existing clinical IT systems.

The Digital Health Record is hosted in multiple secure data centres in Canberra. These data centres have well established security controls that enable them to store secret data belonging to the Australian Federal Government.

Find out more dhr.act.gov.au

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… and the last word…

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From the Golacks….thanks

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 Here are some interesting facts on longevity.

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Some things to ponder as we age:

         The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

          The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

          The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41

          The best soccer player in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60

 And then..

          KFC inventor died at 94

          Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

          Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102          

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The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 – in an earthquake 

          Hennessy cognac, Irish inventor died at 98

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How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

          The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years.

          The turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.

So

         Have a glass of wine..

        Take a nap …

       And IF you wake up, have bacon & eggs!

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Fortnightly News 4/11/2022

Issue 22 of 2022     

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4^th November 2022

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.THE 50^TH ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION….

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What a lovely occasion. On Friday 28 October more than sixty members and guests enjoyed an afternoon of good company, good food, and wonderful entertainment.  We welcomed David Smith MP, our federal member for Bean, Lorraine Henderson representing Canberra’s other Seniors clubs and Past Presidents and Life Members in Anne Murray, Sue Allen and Gail Giuliano.  The Woden Seniors Singers made the afternoon memorable with three brackets of songs (Any Dream Will Do is still my earworm!).  Cindy McMillan arranged for a display of some of our history and heritage items in the sitting room which was appreciated by all. Thank you to all involved in organising, setting up, arranging and serving the food and in cleaning up afterwards – many hands made light work!

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GARDEN WORKING BEE

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You may have noticed that our carpark and garden areas are looking a bit more spruce than usual!  We have a new grounds maintenance contractor who has made a great start on keeping our gum tree-littered grounds tidy and the garden sub-committee has been at work keeping the rain-assisted garden areas under control.

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One worker and two supervisors…. Industry standard!

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MINDFULNESS AND MEDITATION CLASSES

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Are you curious about the practice of mindfulness and its application in day-to-day life?

Please join us for an information session and morning tea.

In the past twelve months we have offered two four-week mindfulness meditation courses through WSC: An Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation and Ageing with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion, facilitated by Cathy Mauk as part of her practicum experience to become a certified meditation teacher. Those who participated in the previous classes found them extremely valuable and appreciated Cathy’s knowledge and inclusive style.

Cathy is about to finish her two-year training program and is interested in continuing to teach classes at WSC. She is proposing a new 4-week program to commence 17 January.

The classes will be open to anyone interested in learning to meditate, those who already have some background but would just like to get back into their practice, and previous class members.   The usual Club activity fee is the only cost involved.

You’re invited to meet Cathy and to learn more about mindfulness meditation and the classes at a morning tea at 10.30 on 6 December 2022 at the Club. Please RSVP to Polly either in person, by phone – 6282 2573 – or email to admin@wodenseniors.org.au so we are sure to have enough cake for everyone.

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AN IMPORTANT REMINDER

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Club membership fees and members’ parking payments are an important part of our Club’s financial structure.  During the Covid lockdown and minimum activity periods we extended membership periods and this has perhaps left some of us uncertain about when our renewal is due.  If you are at all unsure, Polly will be happy to check for you!! 

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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Intergenerational Playgroup opportunity.  Libraries ACT and ACT Playgroups invite Woden area seniors and families with children under 5 for a fun weekly session to learn and connect through play. Starting Wednesday 9th Nov 2022 10am -11.30am Woden Library, Community room 1 (next to the café).

Limited Spots. Please register: chandani@playgroupact.org.au

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…. Further to the notice above….

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WE LEARNED IT ALL IN KINDERGARTEN (abridged version)

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Most of what I really need to know about how to live and how to be, I learned in Kindergarten.

Share everything. Play fair.  Don’t hit people.  Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.  Don’t take things that aren’t yours.  Say you’re sorry if you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.  Lead a balanced life.

Learn awhile and think awhile and draw and sing and dance and play and work awhile every day.

Take a nap in the afternoon.  When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all:

look.  Be aware of wonder.  Remember the little seed in the plastic cup.  The roots go down and the plant

goes up and nobody really knows why –  but we are all like that.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.  The golden rule and love and basic sanitation.

Ecology and politics and sane living.

What a better world it would be if our leaders had bikkies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon

and then had a nap.  And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world,

it is best to hold hands and stick together.

(Thanks Lutana.)

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Fortnightly News 21/10/2022

21st OCTOBER 2022

  

A reminder

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There is still room for a few more members to be accommodated at the Club’s 50^th Anniversary celebration –

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Friday 28^th October

Afternoon tea

2.00 – 4.00pm at the Club

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If you would like to attend and haven’t yet let us know, please call in to the Club or phone Polly on 6282 2573 to add your name to the RSVP list – by Tuesday afternoon at the latest – to be part of the fun.

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COTA IT HELP MORNING

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There was a happy buzz in the room when the COTA IT help team came to the Club bringing a yummy selection of morning tea goodies and some switched on people to help with our phones, tablets or laptop computers.  A steady stream of people came in, sat for their one-on-one help session, and left with a smile and a thumbs up.

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If you missed it, COTA offer these sessions by appointment on Wednesday and Friday mornings at the Hughes Community Centre.  You can book by phoning 6282 3777.  Funding for this program has been provided by the ACT Government and the E-Safety Commissioner.

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Also there on the morning were some representatives of the Federal Department of Social Services who came to have a look at how the program was operating, and to be impressed with our Club’s facilities and the activities taking place!

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SOME REALLY NICE NEWS

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Our choir group have been rehearsing a number of musical programs throughout the Covid-affected past few years, apart from lockdown times, but have not been able to do their usual visits to nursing homes to entertain residents.  Now that most restrictions have been lifted, the group has been booked solid for gigs between now and Christmas.

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EARLY NOTICE

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As is our normal practice, the Club will close for the Christmas break.  The last day for 2022 will be Friday 23 December, and we will re-open for 2023 on Monday 16^th January.  This allows for some of the major maintenance tasks to be completed and we are planning to have new carpet laid in the sitting room, Polly’s office and the verandah around Hall 1. 

      

            

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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And of course… (Thanks to Elizabeth Halfnights for sending this one)        

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LESSER KNOWN KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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The knight who was afraid to fight:  Sir Render

The knight no one believed:  Sir Real

The knight too big to sit at the table:  Sir Round

The knight who designed the table:  Sir Cumference

The undercover knight:  Sir Viellance

The knight who was never killed in battle:  Sir Vivor

The knight who exceeded expectations:  Sir Passed

The knight who showed up unexpectedly:  Sir Prize

The knight who overcame obstacles:  Sir Mount

The knight who funded the kingdom:  Sir Tax

The knight who kept the maps up-to-date:  Sir Veyor

The knight who drank too much:  Sir Rhosis

The knight who stood in for the King:  Sir Rogate

The knight who stood out among the rest:  Sir Perb

The knight with the fragile ego:  Sir Ramic

The knight who performed in three rings:  Sir Cus

The saddest knight of all:  Sir Rowful

The knight who wasn’t needed:  Sir Perfluous

The knight who liked to dance:  Sir Prance Alot

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Fortnightly News 7/10/2022

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7^th OCTOBER 2022

  

A ONCE IN FIFTY YEARS OCCASION

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October 2022 marks fifty years since a small group of people held a meeting which resolved to form the Club which is now Woden Seniors.

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A celebration is definitely called for and members are invited for

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Friday 28^th October

Afternoon tea

2.00 – 4.00pm at the Club

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Our brilliant choir are preparing some special songs to entertain us and after a minimum of (Very Important) formalities, we can sit or circulate as preferred, chat to old -and maybe even some new- friends and enjoy some delicious sweets or savouries for afternoon tea.

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If you would like to attend, please add your name to the RSVP list at Polly’s office.  If you are aware of any former members who might be interested, perhaps you could let them know they would be welcome to put their names down to join in the celebration?

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To help make the occasion look especially special, we would like to borrow some tiered cake stands.  If you have one or more we could use on the day, please let Polly know.

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GARDEN TIDY UP

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A working bee will be held on Friday 21^st October to tidy up the garden area outside Hall 2.  Some willing hands in gardening gloves would be very welcome, 8.00am start.  With a few people to help the job shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours.   

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HELP WITH YOUR SMARTPHONE OR TABLET OR LAPTOP COMPUTER     

I hardly need to ask if you might need a little or a lot of help with any aspect of using your phone, tablet or laptop computer.  COTA ACT may have the answer!  They will be bringing a free morning tea and a team of people here to the Club to help on WEDNESDAY 19^TH OCTOBER from 10.00-11.30am.  No need to book, just bring your device/s along during that time to receive some help specific to your need.  Please see the flyer in the Community Notices Section below.

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Jenny Gregory
President                                            

Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au

www.wodenseniors.org.au 

              

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 COMMUNITY NOTICES AND INFORMATION

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A few last words…..

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TOP 21 OXYMORONS

Genuine imitation

Airline food

Same difference

Almost exactly

Government organisation

Business ethics

Military intelligence

Software documentation

New classic

“Now, then…”

Passive aggression

Taped live

Clearly misunderstood

Temporary tax increase

Plastic glasses

Political science

Tight slacks

Pretty ugly

Diet ice cream

Exact estimate

Computer security.

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Fortnightly News 23/9/2022

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