Woden Seniors Inc

50 years of providing Community Service to the over-50s of Canberra


Fortnightly News 7/7/2023

Issue 13 of 2023


7 July 2023




     Friday 14 July….   Closing date to pay for Wicked excursion

Tuesday 18 July – Club Management Committee Meeting

Wednesday 13 September – ‘Wicked’ excursion

          Friday 5, Saturday 6 and Sunday 7 April – our 2024 Book Fair



.The date has been set for our 2024 Book Fair.  It will be the weekend after Easter, namely, on Friday 5 April, Saturday 6 April and Sunday 7 April 2024.


Our sorting groups are now back in full operation and are keen to keep busy. So please let your friends and family know that we are accepting donations.  

We accept clean, resaleable books, comics, CDs, DVDs, audio books, jigsaws, and games.

We cannot accept encyclopedias, Readers Digest condensed books, magazines, First Aid manuals, cassette tapes, video tapes, vinyl records, computer software and computer games and dirty, tatty, incomplete books.



.To ensure your place on this excursion (advertised in the last Newsletter) please let Polly know by Monday 10th July.  Payment is due by 14th July,  but we need to let Potters Travel know how many people are joining us by the 10th due to theatre ticket requirements. 




Jenny Gregory


Woden Seniors Inc.

PO Box 345, Woden ACT 2606

Tel: (02) 6282 2573

Email: president@wodenseniors.org.au



.Many people like to volunteer for the good of our community. Here is an opportunity that could appeal to some of you. You will be aware that part of a medical student’s training is to do tests on patients to measure pulse and blood pressure etcetera and to look for symptoms. Much of this training is done on ‘pretend’ patients, people who volunteer to stand in for real patients. Covid has had an effect on this program, and the medical school is looking for new volunteers. If you are interested, please contact Medical School – Patient Recruitment at patientrecruitment.medicalschool@anu.edu.au\


Lexophile” describes those that have a love for words and especially word twists,

such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless”. 

An annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original word play.  

This year’s submissions:   

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.  

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.  

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I’ve never met herbivore.  

I know a man who’s addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.  

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.  

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.  

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.  

A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.  

A will is a dead giveaway.  

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.  

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.  

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?  He’s all right now.  

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.  

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.  

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.  

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.  

Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That’s the point of it.  

I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.  

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?  

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.  

When chemists die, they barium.  

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.